This is a story about sex and drugs and Music With Rocks In.Well……one out of three ain’t bad.Being sixteen is always difficult, even more so when there’s a Death in the family. After all, it’s hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe. Especially if he decides to take a well-earned moment to uncover the meaning of life and discover himself in the process, so that you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy.And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered Discworld. It’s lawless. It changes people. It’s got a beat and you can dance to it.It’s called Music With Rocks In.And it won’t fade away.

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .’Just because you can’t explain it, doesn’t mean it’s a miracle.’In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: ‘Hey, you!’ This is the Discworld, after all, and religion is a controversial business.Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods, of every shape and size, and all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, shape and size can be pretty crucial to make one’s presence felt.So it’s certainly not helpful to be reduced to appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone’s book.In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast: for the Great God Om, Brutha the novice is the Chosen One – or at least the only One available. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please . . .The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Small Gods is a standalone novel.

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .’Death has to happen. That’s what bein’ alive is all about. You’re alive, and then you’re dead. It can’t just stop happening.’But it can. And it has.Death is missing – presumed gone.Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. If Death doesn’t come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime?You can’t have the undead wandering about like lost souls — there’s no telling what might happen!Particularly when they discover that life really is only for the living . . .The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Reaper Man is the second book in the Death series.

The Discworld is very much like our own – if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .Change is in the air for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, con-man, and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office.A steaming, clanging new invention – a steam locomotive named Iron Girder, to be precise – is drawing astonished crowds. Suddenly it’s a matter of national importance that the trains run on time.Moist does not enjoy hard work. His input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn’t involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters.What Moist does enjoy is being alive, which may not be a perk of running the new railway. Because, of course, some people have OBJECTIONS, and they’ll go to extremes to stop locomotion in its tracks.The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Raising Steam is the third and final book in the Moist von Lipwig series.

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .’What’s so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work’s already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place.’The City Watch needs MEN! But what it’s got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-constable Angua (a woman… most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving).And they need all the help they can get, because someone in Ankh-Morpork has been getting dangerous ideas — about crowns and legendary swords, and destiny.And the problem with destiny is, of course, that she is not always careful where she points her finger. One minute you might be minding your own business on a normal if not spectacular career path, the next you might be in the frame for the big job, like saving the world . . .

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .What sort of person sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man . . .It can also bring Death. And plenty of it. In unpleasant variations.This isn’t real life — it’s worse. This is the Opera House, Ankh-Morpork . . . a huge, rambling building where innocent young sopranos are being targeted by a strangely familiar evil mastermind in a mask and evening dress and with a penchant for lurking in shadows and occasional murder.But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld’s most formidable witch, is in the audience. And she doesn’t hold with that sort of thing. There’s going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evenin’s entertainment with murders you can really hum to) and the show MUST go on.The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Maskerade is the fifth book in the Witches series.

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is…The fairies are back — but this time they don’t just want your teeth…It’s Midsummer Night — no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there’s more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down.Unfortunately there’s usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place — to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order.Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven of witches are up against real elves. And they’re spectacularly nasty creatures. Even in a world of dwarves, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers — and the odd orang-utan — this is going to cause trouble…The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Lords and Ladies is the fourth book in the Witches series.

The Discworld is very much like our own – if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .There is a curse. They say: may you live in interesting times.’May you live in interesting times’ is the worst thing one can wish on a citizen of Discworld, especially on the distinctly unmagical Rincewind, who has had far too much perilous excitement in his life and can’t even spell wizard.So when a request for a ;Great Wizzard; arrives in Ankh-Morpork via carrier albatross from the faraway Counterweight Continent, it’s the endlessly unlucky Rincewind who’s sent as emissary. The oldest (and most heavily fortified) empire on the Disc is in turmoil, and Chaos is building. And, for some incomprehensible reason, someone believes Rincewind will have a mythic role in the ensuing war and wholesale bloodletting.There are too many heroes already in the world, but there is only one Rincewind. And he owes it to the world to keep that one alive for as long as possible.The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Interesting Times is the fifth book in the Wizards series.

The Discworld is very much like our own – if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .The post was an old thing, of course, but it was so old that it had magically become new again.Moist von Lipwig is a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put the ailing postal service of Ankh-Morpork – the Discworld’s city-state – back on its feet.It’s a tough decision.The post is a creaking old institution, overshadowed by new technology. But there are people who still believe in it, and Moist must become one of them if he’s going to see that the mail gets through, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, an evil chairman . . . and a midnight killer.Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.Perhaps there’s a shot at redemption in the mad world of the mail, waiting for a man who’s prepared to push the envelope . . .The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Going Postal is the first book in the Moist von Lipwig series.

The Discworld is very much like our own — if our own were to consist of a flat planet balanced on the back of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle, that is . . .’Sorry?’ said Carrot. If it’s just a thing, how can it commit murder? A sword is a thing’ — he drew his own sword; it made an almost silken sound — ‘and of course you can’t blame a sword if someone thrust it at you, sir.’For Commander Vimes, Head of Ankh-Morpork City Watch, life consists of troubling times, linked together by…well, more troubling times.Right now, it’s the latter. There’s a werewolf with pre-lunar tension in the city, and a dwarf with attitude and a golem who’s begun to think for itself, but that’s just ordinary trouble. The real problem is more puzzling — people are being murdered, but there’s no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene.So Vimes not only has to find out whodunit, but howdunit too. He’s not even sure what they dun. But soon as he knows what the questions are, he’s going to want some answers.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON, AS MURDER, MUSIC AND MAYHEM RUN RIOT IN THE NIGHT…The Opera House, Ankh-Morpork… A huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely familiar evil mastermind in a hideously deformed evening dress…At least, he hopes so. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld’s most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn’t hold with that sort of thing.So there’s going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evening’s entertainment with murders you can really hum…)

The fairies are back – but this time they don’t just want your teeth.It’s Midsummer Night – no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there’s more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down. And there’s usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place – to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order.Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. And even in a world of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and the odd orang-utan, this is going to cause real trouble. With lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.

In the beginning was the Word.And the Word was: »Hey, you!»For Brutha the novice is the Chosen One. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love.He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please…

Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse — and indeed treasury — is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. And particularly when your only visible means of support is a recently acquired qualification from the Guild of Assassins where running a kingdom and basic financial acumen were not prerequisites for course entry…

War is brewing on the Discworld.An island has appeared from the ocean depths, right in the middle of the sea which separates the proud empires of Klatch and Ankh-Morpork. Of course, no one would dream of starting a war with the neighbours without a perfectly good reason . . . such as a ‘strategic’ piece of old rock, for instance.But when a Klatchian Prince is almost assassinated, peace talks break down and violent nationalism begins to spread. Ankh-Morpork prepares to fight. Only thing is, they don’t have an army. Or much in the way of weapons.Commander Sam Vimes and the ‘officially disbanded’ City Watch get caught up in a deadly political game where the enemy appears to be on both sides and no one will listen to reason.And if they don’t stop this absurd war, no one will . . .Jingo is the fourth book in the City Watch series, but you can read the Discworld novels in any order.

‘People ought to think for themselves … the problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to.’Times are a-changing in Ankh-Morpork’s Night Watch.New recruits have been hired to reflect the city’s diversity, including Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), and Lance-constable Angua (a woman … full moons aside).What’s more, Captain Sam Vimes is getting married and retiring from the Watch. For good. Which is a shame, because no one knows the streets of Ankh-Morpork or its criminal underworld better than him.And someone armed and dangerous has been getting ideas about power and destiny and lost kings, committing a string of seemingly random murders across the city.The new recruits will need to learn fast …Men At Arms is the second book in the City Watch series, but you can read the Discworld novels in any order.